good time, great taste

i went for my routine check-up this morning. hubby picked me up and dropped me off. parking was always impossible. half an hour later, i was done with everything. my urine's fine, blood pressure's fine and the baby's fine (my utmost concern). went back to my workplace to have lunch with hubby. i had a big portion of sandwiches at o'brien's. i always enjoy my limited time with hubby. that's when we gossip about everything. he would tell me about his work, his collegues and staff. i, on the other hand, would update him on any gossips i heard from my friends and mum. that's how we unwind, i guess. sometimes we talked about our beloved miss 'kay-poh' and her antiques and how she bullied my mum all the time, demanding this and that. i gotta say that it takes a lot of effort to make a marriage work. we may have our ups and downs but what's important is the perseverance and the lessons we learned along the way. good start, bad start? it doesnt matter. it's how u overcome the problems. i may have hurt him in some ways and vice-versa but we tend to forgive and forget. it cant be explained. we have our own shortcomings and we try to accept whatever flaws that the other party has. i later learned that i need to change first in order for the other party to change. yeah, it takes time but patience is a virtue. and again and again, time is the best healer, i must say. i used to pinpoint flaws but i dont do that now. if problem arises, i juz keep reminding myself that i'm lucky to be where i am today, lucky to have what i have today and nothing can break us apart.
to err is human, to forgive is divine.

friends or foes?

i gotta know from a friend that one of our good friends is getting married next week. Y is getting married. H told me thru sms. i was surprised coz i didnt get any invitation at all. it surprised me coz i was closed to Y. she came to my house a few times, i went to see her at her former office a few times, and i was always the one calling her. few months back, i gotta know from a friend that she has moved to a new workplace. she didnt even have the courtesy to at least inform me. but i visited her new workplace, nevertheless. she looked okay and i even mentioned not to forget to invite me if she's getting married in the near future. and yesterday, i got to know that she'll be getting married next weekend from a friend, thru sms. this is not the way, i said to myself. i could have taken it in a very bitter way but i guess, there was no point of being bitter about it. maybe she never liked me nway. but we were very closed, that's the thing. i couldnt think of any reasons rite now as to why i wasnt invited. some friends do come and go but i never thot she'd be the one. a good friend recently pointed out that we should make an effort to keep in touch. been there, done that. well, i think i've done my part.

some things are better left unsaid

it frustrates me when ppl gain something on somebody's expense. when u start working, there are bills to be paid. u dont juz sit still and let others do the rest. if u dont own a house, u gotta pay rent. and when u pay rent, electricity bills and utility bills come with it. if u dont own a car, u gotta pay for any public transportation of ur choice. even if u stay with somebody else, u gotta contribute. that's the way it goes. that's how u learn to survive. u started with small pay but it doesnt mean u can hold on to the full amount and expect others to pay/do on ur behalf. that's not fair. that's not the way to get rich. that's selfish.

what massage can do to u

early morning, i wasnt feeling good. my body ached and i knew i had to do something about it. the last time i had my massage was 6 weeks backs. i guess it's time to revisit cah'ya. my appointment was at 1pm which was during lunch time. i had lunch at 11.30am, nasi and ayam masak merah, courtesy of mum. i was looking forward to my massage appt and it was worth every penny. i felt lighter and much better now. though there are many massage centres mushrooming now, i still stick with them coz of the treatment they keep giving me. i've been with them for almost 6 years and my mum is a regular too.
a friend juz gave birth to a baby girl today. congratulations to her. my time will come in 3 months time. hopefully i'll still be ok by then. i was really active when i was carrying my first baby. i didnt have a smooth delivery but it was such a relief to see that rania was a healthy bouncing baby when i was first saw her. i thot babies are supposed to sleep for the first 2 weeks but rania was different. the first time i hold her, she opened her eyes and she smiled at me. at that time, i didnt notice anything until my dad pointed out at her nose. it's true that her nose is a bit different from others but as long as she's healthy, i'm happy. for almost 4 years, everywhere we go, ppl will notice her nose first. sometimes i would get annoyed but i guess, some ppl are juz curious. i dont get annoyed anymore now. infact, i dont see anything wrong with her nose. but lately, i noticed that it's her lips that are attracting attention now.

a jab in the arm

on sunday, brought my daughter to a clinic for a meningitis shot. early morning, i already told her and she was crying hysterically. i didnt want to lie so i told her the purpose of the visit. then, i came up with a story that 2 yrs back, she had taken the shot. she asked me whether did she cry and i said no. so, she said, 'oklah...kita pergi cucuk'. went to 2 clinics at first but they didnt have it. when we got back into the car, she asked me, 'kata nak cucuk...'. i was rather inpressed coz the statement came from a girl who cried endlessly in the morning. then, when we were in the doctor's room, the doctor wanted to jab her in the butt so that she wont feel so much pain. she refused and when the doctor asked why, she answered 'malulah. doctor kan boy...' the doctor finally obliged. she insisted to be shot in the arm. she cried a bit but at least she didnt make a scene. i was so proud of her for being so brave.
my parents enquired about it and it shows that she was boasting. so, my mum promised to buy her toys for being so brave. i juz heard from mum that she has chosen a very huge foldable castle that can fit 2 adults. now i''m worried coz i will definitely be the one to carry it around.

lessons to be learned

i have made my client so happy to day. his investment has doubled. u see, ppl with money always get more. while ppl like me, always 'cukup2 makan'. haha. but that's the way it goes. i'm not too poor and yet, not too rich either. i'm happy hubby supports me and my little girl well. i do agree with the education ministry now that they want to review the education system so as not to be so exam-oriented. kids nowadays are spoilt. they expect parents to support them in everything they do be it financially, academically or materially. after u're done with ur studies, u're supposed to find work and that's when u should repay whatever ur parents have done for u. it's simple logic. u shouldnt burden ur parents anymore. doesnt matter if u give them rm50.00 per month. as long as u give, no parents in the right sound of mind would complain. no excuses should be given shall u not want to give any financial assistance to ur parents. they were once less privileged than us when they brought us up. still they survived so why cant we? coz we keep coming up with excuses. house rental too high lah, hafta pay for house and car instalment lah, food very expensive lah, etc, etc. it's true the cost of living is very high but u have a choice! if u know u dont earn much, dont buy a car. u can always take public transportation or car-pool with ur friends. dont give stupid excuses like 'bus-stop too far' or ' no lrt station nearby'. IF THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY. even if u cant give money to ur parents, u can always run errands for them. drive them to the market or accompany them when they need to go to the bank or juz do anything for them when they need u. ppl tend to give excuses when parents need them. the most famous one is probably 'i hafta work today'. and parents would normally be fine with the answer. i'm sick of ppl who only think of themselves.
when u're married, the responsibility is even bigger. if u cant take it, dont get married in the first place. there's no such thing as free lunch. some are juz plain lucky to be able to stay with their parents or in-laws. food is free, no house rental imposed and still, some can be ignorant. for those who have kids, they expect parents / in-laws to take care of their kids when they're off to work. and when they come back from work, they're too tired to do anything and again, the parents come into the picture. no need to pay any fees as u do when u send them to a nursery. and what's amazing is that with all these so-called facilities and priveleges, some STILL take advantage of the kindness given by parents / in-laws. frankly speaking, i really, really despise these type of ppl. i say it's time to remove the crutches. ppl should learn how to overcome the challenges in life on their own and take it as part and parcel of growing up. it makes u appreciate what u have and what u dont have.

sleepless night

lately, i didnt sleep well at nite. the baby in my tummy keeps waking me up. he kicks and keep kicking until the wee hour. let me tell u, this is one active boy. but 3 nights b4, i was worried coz there was no movement at all. i had a huge dinner and i myself was bloating like mad. i couldnt sleep thinking bout it when all of a sudden, i felt him kicking. it was such a relief. at 4 in the morning, i woke up and still wondering why he hasnt been active lately. but miracles do happen. the moment i quietly asked the baby why wasnt he kicking, that's when he kicked me. half an hour later, i tried asking again and he kicked me again. i couldnt even describe the feeling i had at that time. it was like he understood what i wanted him to do. it was such a nice feeling.

much ado about marche

i juz had lunch with mum and rania at marche. it was my first time though my office is located juz above it. to tell u the truth, i dont know what the fuss is all about. most of the ppl i've met think highly of that place. i did go inside once to check it out with hubby but we ended up eating at dikayu nasi kandar coz we didnt see anything we like. this time, i went coz mum wanted to. so, she ordered salad, i ordered pizza for rania and fettucine carbonara for my humble self. both of us had the same drink which was strawberry lemonade and it tasted awful. i requested for 'strictly no ice' and the nepalese guy still put some ice in it. salad was ok, pizza wasnt that good and as for carbonara...let's juz say that i could get a much better one at other places. (read : italiannies). i would have guessed the bill would come up to around rm 50.00 but no, it was rm 81.02. i was shocked, mum was shocked too. i dont mind paying that much if the food was really, really good. infact, for that price, i could get a very satisfying meal at chilis. on our way to borders, me and mum were still discussing the price. to me, it was exorbitant. maybe not to others but to me, yes it was indeed. so, that will be the first and the last time for me. perhaps i will have to go in the future juz in case some friends or colleagues wanted to hold a bday celebration. other than that, i dont think i would want marche to rip me off my $$.

the harmony silk factory

i wrote a long piece of notes yesterday which was supposed to be posted to my blog but all of a sudden, it was gone juz like that. i blame it on my office's pc. it was about what i did during weekend. but nevermind, i'm not gonna go thru all that again. yesterday was really a monday blues for me. the wireman guy was supposed to come to my house to fix my living room's lamp at 1.00pm. i waited until 2.00, still no sign of him. i called and he said he'll come around 3.30. he was juz around the corner installing sthing at a nearby house. 5.00pm, still no sign of him. he called at 5.30 to ask for direction. wasnt he supposed to be juz nearby? finally at 6.00pm, he came and it lasted until 7.30. i had to miss going to work for the afternoon session, i was late in picking up my daughter and i was bloody hungry coz i didnt have lunch at all.
another 'monday-blues-thing' that really pissed me off was when i had to waste my time reading a book that was not worth reading. and to think that the book actually won a big prize internationally. the harmony silk factory by tash aw. what a BORE!! i did skip a few pages when i started so i proceeded to the middle section. it was okay for only 20 pages and that's the time when i knew i had to put down the book for good. but my conscience advised against it. i paid for the book so at least i gotta finish it no matter what. i did finish the book but it was more like skimming and scanning, that's all. at the end of it, i cursed at the cover for making me took a second glance when i first spotted it at borders. those who have read, please let me know whether u share the same sentiment or perhaps u could tell me which part that was so interesting to the extend that it was 'unptdownable'.

missing a brother

i only have one younger sis and one younger bro. my bro is so far away, tucked in safely and comfortably in the most beautiful country in the world (as declared by some). too bad i didnt have the chance to go due to pregnancy. he called us yesterday and wanted to talk to my ever-talkative little girl. she counqered my phone with her left hand while the other was focussing on surfing the net. for a 4-year-old, she didnt have to go to any pre-school to learn how to operate d pc. we missed him once in a while. but i think my mum missed him all d time. when he first left, mum cried every time she performed the maghrib prayers coz that was the time when my bro would always come home from his college.
though it's been almost a year he's gone, we can feel the emptiness of him not being around. he's the reliable one to everybody, be it mum, me or even sis. he's like the MCGYVER of the house. to think that he'll be where he is now would be a far-fetched idea for some 10 years ago. unlike me, he's humble and liked by most ppl. my little girl definitely missed his antiques of chasing and wanting to bite her 'butt'. a few weeks b4 he was supposed to leave, he will take 2 hrs to buy gardenia bread for mum and he will not mind going out again, pretending that he forgot what else was on the list. that's when we knew he was seeing a girl, alright. and me being the eldest will tease him endlessly.
i really hope that he wont disappoint me (esp) by not attending any of the world cup games. it's true the tickets are expensive but this is a once-in-lifetime opportunity.
so, UDIN, u'd better go and buy those tickets fast!!

when good manners matters

took half-day leave yesterday to accompany mum. we went to seremban to visit my aunt who recently juz gave birth. showed my little girl the place where i grew up. passed by our former house which we sold recently. it was really worth taking the trip as i explained every single thing i passed by to my daughter. the infamous golf club where my dad used to tee-off every afternoon, the house where me and sis went for 'mengaji', the extended-version bookstore next to KFC in town, mum's favourite jewellery shop in wisma punca emas and my brother's primary school which is juz behind our house. too bad we didnt have much time to go to our favourite kopitiam place in town.
back to visiting my aunt. i noticed that kids nowadays dont always shake hands in a proper way anymore. we malays always emphasized on 'salam' and 'cium tangan' with both hands. i still do that everytime i see my relatives. but some juz do it as if they're shaking hands with FRIENDS. and these kids are only in their primaries and secondaries. if now they can do it for the sake of juz doing it, what will happen when they grow older and when they no longer have to listen to their parents anymore? though no doubt we may not like each other but u must always respect the elders no matter what. i do despise some of my uncles for unforgettable things they've done to me and sis when we were small but nevertheless, u live in a society where minding ur manners is the highest order of the day.
as for me, how i evaluate ppl nowadays is thru their manners. i dont care if u're multi-rich or poor as long as u have good manners, u're definitely in my good books.

mawi mania

i hafta admit, i'm a big, big fan of mawi. i thot my infatuation will die the moment AF3 wrapped up. but i still like him until now. i saw him singing with m.nasir (on tv of course) during anugerah seri angkasa. i didnt expect him to appear but when i finally saw him on tv, i was hysterical. 'mawi! mawi!' i shouted. my little girl was saying 'terukla mummy ni'. she used to like mawi b4. she could imitate mawi singing 'oh fatimah'. but now, she juz couldnt care less everytime mawi appears on tv. wanted so badly to go and see him singing live. he will be performing during secretaries' week but i'll be somewhere else during that period. and i think i've read somewhere that he will perform during mothers' day. i will definitely go and i think i want to bring my mum along. but it all depends on the price. for u to attend front-row seat at palace of the golden horses, u gotta part with rm600. very exorbitant price, dont u think? maestro is really making $$ out of him, i'm sure.
i dont know whether AF4 can produce somebody who is more phenomenal than mawi. i think they should always follow steven spielberg's rules. never go beyond 3. but i could be wrong.
oh, mawi.......

a sight not to behold

mothers' worst nightmare is when something bad happens to their children. that's what happened to me today. went for a swim with my little girl. everytime i do my laps, i will always make sure she follows me behind. it's either by pulling my hair or holding on to my shoulder. as i was finishing my last lap, i realised that she wasnt holding me for a few seconds. i looked back and what i saw was one sight that i will never ever forget. her float was upside down and all i could see was her feet. luckily she was wearing a very bright pink swimsuit. i grabbed her immediately and my heart was thumping like crazy. i think my heart stopped beating for a while. i tried to be calm coz i didnt want to her to be afraid of water later. i thank the almighty GOD for sparing my daughter's life. i carried her and hold on tight to her until she fell asleep in my arms. at that moment, nothing else matters except my little girl. i wanted to cry so badly and pour my heart out to my mum but that 5-second-moment kept flashing b4 my eyes. HOW COULD I BE SO CARELESS?
when she fell asleep, i called hubby to inform him. i didnt expect any consolation from him but that's what i got actually. hubby made me feel better by telling me that it happened to him b4. and he asked me not to panic coz accidents do happen. it's how u handle it that matters. though i kept telling him that i'm such a bad mother, he consoled me by using wise words.
rite now, i'm staring at my daughter, thinking why did i ever let her go thru such incident. if only i could make her understand how sorry i am for causing her misery. there is no point in saying 'if i could turn back time...'

what's in a title

one hour b4 lunch time, had a chat with one of my colleagues. i was asking her bout this one girl who recently decided to take off tudung permanently. she herself didnt know the reason but she added up by telling me that 'dia anak datuk tau...' At that moment, i was really annoyed coz who cares who the father is? i dont give a shit at all. i wanted to know coz there are only 7 malays in my office and i myself, see the need to get to know each other better.
why do some look up to ppl who have titles? are they supposed to be nicer and better than all of us whom are title-less? what's d point if we dont even greet each other let alone be nice to each other? take my new neighbour for example. when they moved in, i brought along a cake to introduce myself and to welcome them to the neighbourhood. until now, i dont even know how does the wife look like.
well, maybe i'm such a nuisance to them.

burst tyre

supposed to buy kfc for hubby when all of a sudden i hit a kerb. stopped and hoped that it was nothing major but i could hear the 'hissing' sound. tried to drive further but the front tyre was totally flat. cant even reach the autopay booth. called hubby and he didnt sound too pleased. oh, oh...i'm in trouble. luckily our house is nearby so while waiting for him, i went to borders and bought a mag for myself. couldnt really believe that i was that calm. when i came down, 4 guards were surrounding my car and offered to help change the tyre. though i kept mentioning that it was ok since hubby would arrive soon, they insisted on changing it for me. i was elated coz i would have never thot that it was part of their job. i didnt expect ppl nowadays would offer any help or assistance when somebody's in trouble. but these nice ppl proved me wrong.
by the time hubby arrived, it was done. i took note of their names coz there was no way i'd let them go without giving any rewards.
hubby drove my car to the nearest service centre while i drove his car. while driving, i was thinking of how lucky i was although the gesture may be considered as small to some. i wish i could meet more ppl like them. for them to locate my car and offered help was meaningful enuf while on the other hand, i was trying to hide coz i didnt want ppl to notice and think that i was such a clumsy driver....

domino effect

it was shocking when hubby informed me that he had to part with rm104.00 juz to fill-up petrol for his car last nite. and hubby isnt driving any continental car. we're starting to feel the pinch of the latest increase in oil price. i dont juz simply do impulse-purchase anymore. we used to frequent our favourite restaurant in ou once a week but now, we only do it once a month. like everybody was saying, the salary scale doesnt increase much but prices of goods keep increasing. i juz had cendol for my post-lunch today and already, it was increased by 20%.
i was juz wondering about those ppl who are in the lower-income group. how do they cope? esp to those who have to send their kids to school in the morning, send the wives to workplace and later, to pick up the kids from school while they themselves have to go back to their offices again. even banks have increased their blr to 6.5%.
as for myself, i make a list of what to buy nowadays. though i dont compromise on my skincare range, i make sure i cut my cleanser into half and try to 'retrieve' whatever i can get b4 i throw it away. trust me, it could last up until 3 weeks. plus, ive given up on toner. my moisturiser was finishing when i discovered that i could ask mum to replace it as my bday gift.
the only thing that i dont mind spending on are food and books. i'm still wearing mum's baggy clothes to work coz maternity clothing are not cheap. i cant fit the old ones coz i didnt lose weight after i gave birth the first time. my fault, i know...and to tell u the truth, it's kinda out of fashion. haha.

great expectations

on saturday, supposed to have lunch with an ex-colleague. she cancelled last week so i was looking forward to this week actually. i'm always punctual when it comes to appointment so, by 11.30 i was ready to go. she called to cancel again 10 minutes later. i didnt sound upset over the phone but at that moment, i didnt believe whatever reasons or excuses that she gave me. for the past 2 years, i've always put into consideration some scepticism in my heart. i've learned not to have any expectations at all from anybody. coz if u expect too much, it will lead to disappointment, frustration and anger. i used to be depressed over small things if they didnt go my way or at least the way i expected it to be. then i realised that i cant expect things or ppl to go my way all the time. when i finally came into terms with the expectation thingy, i was calmer though sometimes the withdrawal symptoms came into the picture. it was very difficult at first but i managed to control it up until now.
luckily, i have my little girl to keep me sane. with hubby at work most of the time, mum with dad some 300km away, i could go crazy with no one to talk to. i thank GOD for blessing me with an extremely intelligent daughter that i can converse and play with. without her coming into my life, i wouldnt have come into my senses.
back to my ex-colleague who dumped me, though she promised to call next week and to meet up again, i dont think i'll be interested anymore.
coz my time is precious too..........

what a hectic friday

mum not around. she went back to hometown yesterday so, i brought along my daughter to my office and what a bz day i had! other than work that kept me occupied, her constant demand was unbelievable! but so far i havent raised my voice yet coz i would regret it later.
a friend will be throwing a bday party for her 3 yr old. decided not to attend coz i could save $$ from buying a gift and kids' stuff nowadays are not cheap, mind u. secondly, (and the main reason actually) i didnt want to mingle with ex-schoolmates. there will be fake smiles and laughter and exchanging unnecessary phone numbers will lead nowhere in the future, trust me. plus, the parking will be a nightmare. a good friend actually called up to enquire and i was sure even without knowing my answer, she wont go.
u could say we were partners in crime during our school days.
hahaha

what would u do?

does ur mother comes first?
in my case, i will definitely stop what i'm doing if she needs my help urgently. that's the question. how far would u go to please mum? not to please actually but more like running errands for her and maybe to send her somewhere and to pick her up later. would u give excuses juz to be off the hook and let somebody do it on ur behalf? although u're sooooo bz and too engrossed with ur work, what rights do u have to say no to her? how can u even utter the word no to ur own mother? some may think it's ok to say no once in a while in this modern age.
i dont think it's ok.
i'm a firm believer in asking for hubby's consent and mum's blessing in whatever i do. no matter how far u think u would go in ur career or marriage, there's no way u can go far if there's no blessing. u may not feel the pinch now but u will later.
u hafta set ur priorities right.
it's as simple as that.

my little princess

mum was in ou with my little girl. she called me to tell that mum bought her a magic wand and wings. she sounded soooo happy over the phone that we chatted for a while. i asked if i could borrow her wings. u know what her reply was? "princess gemuk mana boleh pakai wings!"
4-yr-old labelling her mum as gemuk...sob, sob