a sight not to behold

mothers' worst nightmare is when something bad happens to their children. that's what happened to me today. went for a swim with my little girl. everytime i do my laps, i will always make sure she follows me behind. it's either by pulling my hair or holding on to my shoulder. as i was finishing my last lap, i realised that she wasnt holding me for a few seconds. i looked back and what i saw was one sight that i will never ever forget. her float was upside down and all i could see was her feet. luckily she was wearing a very bright pink swimsuit. i grabbed her immediately and my heart was thumping like crazy. i think my heart stopped beating for a while. i tried to be calm coz i didnt want to her to be afraid of water later. i thank the almighty GOD for sparing my daughter's life. i carried her and hold on tight to her until she fell asleep in my arms. at that moment, nothing else matters except my little girl. i wanted to cry so badly and pour my heart out to my mum but that 5-second-moment kept flashing b4 my eyes. HOW COULD I BE SO CARELESS?
when she fell asleep, i called hubby to inform him. i didnt expect any consolation from him but that's what i got actually. hubby made me feel better by telling me that it happened to him b4. and he asked me not to panic coz accidents do happen. it's how u handle it that matters. though i kept telling him that i'm such a bad mother, he consoled me by using wise words.
rite now, i'm staring at my daughter, thinking why did i ever let her go thru such incident. if only i could make her understand how sorry i am for causing her misery. there is no point in saying 'if i could turn back time...'