different perception

the biggest misconception ppl have about me is that i'm a gold-digger and a material girl. which is so not true of course. close friends will know that it is untrue. (err...i think so)
and i do understand why some perceived me that way. i dont mix around much thus, i dont talk much. so, it is only normal if ppl assume the wrong things. i dont have to correct them as long as they leave me alone. but what about the truth? does it matter? it does matter to me but some things are better left unsaid. why rock the boat, huh?
i've learned a few things recently. u can see the greed in some. though it is a little bit expected, i never thot it could be so blunt. and those greedies are the ones who never contributed anything before. the stake isnt that much and yet, some are dissatisfied. it's bad enuf the greedies are showing their true colours, they expect those who are not in their league to juz give up their portion. what is this nonsense? juz because u're less fortunate, u think u have the right to get more? and u expect ppl to sympathise with u? the fortunate struggled to be where they are today, man...
on a lighter note, a friend is going to a place that i wish i could go again. am happy for her. no more gossips over the phone, i guess. and that's the sad part...really...

anakku sazali

what did i do last weekend? nothing much. went to mont kiara bazaar yesterday. used to be my favourite place to hang out but the place wasnt as lively as before. i can only come up with two reasons. it's either ppl refused to come coz of the hot weather or maybe they got bored of the same merchandise. i went coz i wanted to buy some choc cakes and from what i see, it's either jewellery or clothes. i managed to find a mini kebaya nyonya for rania. bila dia pakai, nampak mengada habis. the seller said baju melayu for little boys will come next month. but maybe omar is a little bit too small to wear a baju melayu. i do like most of the adult kebaya but sadly, i cant fit any. not that i have tried but nampak mcm tak muat je.
this morning, i told rania why sometimes i have to scold her. i came up with reasons and some examples. plus, i told her that when i was her age, i got scolded by my father if i misbehaved. worse still, i will be punished and sometimes my dad piched me till i bleed. after i was done with my story, she said, "mana atuk? jahatnya atuk ni cubit mummy sampai darah..." my dad wasnt around so u know what was her next course of action? bukak almari, carik seluar atuk, and there she was, doing what she always do; cubit seluar atuk......
by the way, i firmly believed in 'sayang anak, tangan-tangankan...'
like some would say, 'kang kot jadi anakku sazali...'

reality check

a friend told me bout her mum's prediction on tun dr mahathir. her mum said that one by one will come up with stories that will embarass tun in the end. the same embarassment he caused on anwar. well, dont u think it's happening? he should juz shut up from the start. he's accusing this and that as if he's mr clean. i do appreciate what he has done to our country but when ur time is up, that really means ur time's up, man. and...i have never fancied kj but what he's doing rite now, i gotta salute him. doesnt matter if he's faking it or not but whoever tries to let 'other ppl' know that malays cant be manipulated, will get my vote. sadly, that's not what tun is doing. he's already creating sides and that's not good. remember, this is OUR country. we already have bad social stigma chained to us like rempits, malas, dengki, laid-back, etc,etc. these characters have already given some advantages towards others so, why make it worse?
and the upm fracas thingy, the supposedly bad guys werent punished at all by the university's officials. i have to say that i agree with it but some are saying it's unfair. u want to be fair, there are other channels to go to like a courtroom for instance.
but frankly speaking, we all dont live in a courtroom, do we?

party gal

last saturday, me and rania attended sara's( nina's girl ) bday party. the party was supposed to start at 10.30 am. i arrived around 11 and i thot i was late but being malaysians, i was kinda early. why cant juz ppl come at stipulated time? nway, the food was good, especially the various kinds of cakes and rania had a good time. there was a magician but sadly, not many kids participated. i was called once to assist the magician. rania was called once too coz she's the only girl who can sit still. too bad i didnt bring a camera along.

ironic

i love having bfast at dome. they serve american breakfast all-day long. i must say it's a bit pricey but what the heck. when it comes to good food, i dont mind spending. and during bfast that day i had a chat with one of my collegues. she's in her late 30s and she's trying to conceive. but she already have 2 adopted boys. being me, i asked a lot of questions, some personal but as long as she didnt make faces towards my q's, i kept on asking. the thing is, her second boy was adopted from a teenager who was still studying at a local uni when she gave birth. now, the teenager is married with the same boy who got her pregnant and she's trying to conceive again but she cant. so, the uni gal always come to my friend's house to visit her child but legally speaking, it's not hers anymore. and isnt that ironic? when u least expect it, u got what u dont want but when u want it so badly, GOD says, 'no! u're not getting any!'
back to my friend's story, i went to her house to pick up sthing and since i brought omar along, i shoved him to her. what touched me was when she said 'ambik berkat ye omar'. i almost shed a tear...

books, books, books

i've juz finished a very interesting book; "A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian". those who in need of a good book should get this one. everytime i finished a good book, i feel kinda sad and i would stare at the cover for quite a while. it's like, the suspense and the not knowing where the story might lead u is over. and u gotta find a new book to start with and sometimes u gotta stop halfway coz the book juz aint worth finishing. i've got a few books with nasty comments ( by me definitely ) on the cover.
guess i hafta stock up my books! a reason to shop, baby! muahahaha

freshen up outing

went to ou yesterday and it was omar's second outing. had lunch at our favourite place and the purpose was to buy some jeans. went inside my favourite brand and it was sad to know that the biggest size they have is 8. my previous size was 10 so definitely i cant fit 8, rite? but i didnt go home empty-handed. did buy though but what struck me was the 'still-in-fashion-low-rise jeans'. i asked the girl, do u any which is not low-rise? 'kitorang ada low-rise je kak'...grrrr...
anyway, i bought 3 pairs. geram punye pasal since i cant fit any of my pants. my work doesnt require me to wear formal all the time so what i'm gonna do is wear jeans everyday. haha. hubby told me marks and spencer's is having a sale rite now tapi, pokai la camni.
if only i have rm10k with me rite now, i'll go shopping and buy everything new from top to toe! hhmmm, dream on, girl...

a week's journal

didnt update blog for such a long time, i know. (more than 2 days is considered 'long' to me)
life is hectic with a new baby. i'm a book junkie but progress has been a bit slow lately. like yesterday for instance, while omar was sleeping, i sat next to him trying to continue reading readers' digest. i dog-eared at page 67 and when he woke up, i had to put it down. it was only page 69. i read more than one book at a time. so, basically, i have books everywhere. bro's room, sis's room, i have a stack of latest mags at mum's living room and of course i have one that i carry everywhere in my handbag. so far, my memory is good.
it's nice to have someone to sms with when i'm bored. i got to know this new friend from the hospital actually. when omar was hospitalised, her son was hospitalised too. apparently, we are living in the same housing area and we shared the same anaesthetist and paediatrician. so, it's nice to have somebody to share some baby tips. since she's from johor too, bzbody dia boleh tahan jugaklah.
i finally went for a massage last week. it was exhilarating but my favourite masseuse went for a long holiday so, i had to settle for this one over-friendly new masseuse. i thot i could have the usual nap but this lady never stops talking! she's about 45 so, i would sound a bit rude if i ignore her completely. after 1 hour, she apologised for being so friendly. haiyaa...
so, my next mission is to go for a hair revamp. only, i couldnt find an empty slot. on my side, that is.

happy birthday hubby

yesterday, i was supposed to go to work but at the last minute, had to cancel it coz mum was sick. nowadays, that's the arrangement i have to expect. the uncertanties. sometimes mum have to take care of grandma in hospital and there goes another day of not going to work. not that i dont enjoy staying at home with my 2 kids, it's juz that, i'm the type who doesnt like surprises. let me know in advanced? not a problem to me. i juz dont like the element of surprises.
by the way, yesterday was hubby's birthday. yup, 31st july. and he's 34 this year. didnt have the time to buy anything for him yet coz i hardly go out. spare time is being used to play with rania or pumping milk. i do sound like a milking cow, dont u think so? i had to postpone my massage appointment twice last weekend. a friend and her entourage came and visit me last wekend at mum's place. she was excited seeing omar. it's her favourite 'baby age', she said. i mentioned that i prefer 'older age'. i'm so used of going here and there with rania in tow. with a new baby in the picture, my lifestyle has changed. i'm not complaining though. it makes me think that i've been so comfortable in my comfort zone that i expect it to stay that way forever, without any interruption. that's the price u pay when u are a mother, i guess.