generally speaking...

i went for my routine check-up again this morning. it seems that the baby's head is already at the right place and is unlikely to change. i was starting to get nervous when the doctor gave me a letter juz in case of emergency. well, let's juz hope and pray for the best.
lately, i 'm not in a very-good-mood. i get tired easily. i feel weak but i dont want ppl to perceive me as weak. i could still drive but not long-distance, pls. yesterday, i was rambling on being confortable in our own zone. i get irritated when my comfort zone is being disturbed. sometimes, i feel that i portray myself as being too independent and now it's eating on me. ppl expect u to mantain that way all the time despite of your physical inabilities. how could u say no when u're so used of nodding? my action is an impact of what i think and saw. my words may be a bit harsh but i dont feel sorry for feeling that way. i believe in 'an eye for an eye'. i could still remember some 'dark' episodes. when u're in need, nobody bothers so why should i bother now? i learn not to expect too much from ppl. that way, i dont have to keep asking myself 'why?'. dad once snapped at somebody. she kept babbling why some didnt attend her daughter's wedding. the answer : dont ask why ppl didnt come. instead, ask what have u done that made ppl reluctant to come. i grew up in different sets of surrounding. i do have nasty comments of my own. sometimes i said it out loud, sometimes i keep it to myself. i hate pretenders thus, i hate pretending. it gets into my nerves when some dont walk the talk.
to quote dad, 'tak boleh pakai semua ni...'
up to u to make ur own conclusion.